"Lou from Lawrence County"

I met Lou for the first time just a few days shy of his 50th birthday. I don't remember much of that first meeting but within a very few years, Lou and I became best of friends. We shared our lives for over 30 years. Lou died when I was a little more than 30 myself – 3 decades ago. I still talk to him everyday – more so when I am riding a horse in the hills of Southern Ohio.

I'm sitting at a campsite in the Hocking Hills region right now. The rain is making music on the canopy outside our camper. It puts one in a reflective mood and so I've been thinking about some of the horse friends I've known. Lawrence County Lou was the first and certainly the best.

Lou was proud to be from the Big Branch Hills of Lawrence County Ohio. He left though, when he was about 17, and joined the U.S. Cavalry. He spent most of his time on the Rio Grande (and occasionally on the other side) during the time of Poncho Villa. As a young man, I reveled in his memories of this time in a life that spanned the very end of the 19th and most of the 20th Century. I remember he once told me that I would never see the changes he had seen in his life. (He never got to use the internet and never had a Blackberry).

After the Cavalry and a time in his young life he never told me about, Lou became a leatherworker at a shoe company. After the years of horses, open spaces, and farming in Southern Ohio he must have felt like a captive. Fortunately, a doctor diagnosed Lou with only a year to live. Being the stubborn sort and wanting his freedom back, Lou managed to buy a semi truck and began his new career on the open road. He outlived the Doctor by many years and drove his last "long haul" from Cincinnati to Kansas and back at age 76. He worked full time for another 6 years until that Doctor's prophecy finally came true – 47 years late.

Lou had three loves – his family, horses, and baseball – in that order. He was consistently gentle but firm. He was never loud or profane but rather determined and he willed you to be better than you were.

We learn a lot from friends and I think I learned most of the really important stuff I know from Lou. I'd like to share just a couple of those lessons.

- Lou taught me that nobody – no matter how big their house, car, or bank account – is better than you. Concurrently, you are no better than anyone else. I really wish everyone understood that – we would live in a much better world. "Big me – little you" causes a lot of conflict and misery and ultimately is most destructive to the Fool with the inflated ego. Along the way, though, a lot of good people get hurt.

- Closely tied to this lesson, Lou taught me to treat everyone with respect. Treat everyone with honesty, courtesy, and respect and you will meet with both happiness and success. I later found the same basic lessons in places like the Bible and myriad of business success books such as In Search of Excellence by Tom Peters.

- The third valuable lesson was also a very simple one . . . "Never ever quit." Lou said more than once that a person cannot possibly lose until he gives up. Death is not final.

- There were times that I was with Lou that I felt like a coward. I saw him do things on a daily basis that I thought I could never achieve because I lacked his courage.

I'll never forget the time he explained to me that real bravery is doing what needs to be done even when you are scared to death. Bravery is not the foolish man engaging in a task when he is oblivious to the consequences. Bravery is displayed when one fully comprehends the danger and goes forward anyway because the task must be accomplished.

Lou never went to high school. He only had an 8th grade education. I am sure you can tell from his lessons, however, that he was a very brilliant man. I am very proud that Lou was my friend and I'm even more proud that Lou is my father.

Jon Heffner
October 3, 2010